SOFTEN Your Communication

I have an old copy of this text (from 1983) but its content is still relevant today. It’s called How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends.

There are the 6 governing principles for effective communication as stated in the text.


Open Posture

Forward Lean


Eye Contact


A nice smile always brightens up a room.

Having an open posture invites others into your space.

Leaning forward while talking with someone shows genuine interest, and also that you are the focused on what they have to say.

A gentle touch on the arm or shoulder every now and then makes things personable.

Eye contact is perhaps the most important factor in good communication. Not looking at the person you are talking to shows that you are not interested. This reminds me of an entertainment interviewer on CNN who would interview people on the red carpet. He would approach a celebrity, ask them a question, put the microphone in front of them, then turn his head and stare off into space! He was the most bizarre interviewer I’ve ever seen. It frustrated me to no end. I don’t know what his intention was but I don’t see him on TV any more, thankfully.

One interesting note about eye contact is that women find men more attractive when they are looking away from the camera.

Head nod… a great empathetic device.

I try to run these principles through my mind before attending events.

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